What's the most On Brand™️ story you have from your early childhood.

Mine is when my mom told me not to touch the electric stove when it was red, because that meant it was hot, so I made direct eye contact with her and slapped my hand down on the stove top.

I had regrets but listen, you don't tell me what to do.

When I was a toddler my grandma offered me sweets and me, being the overtly excitable mess that I was, ran full tilt towards her.

I smashed my teeth on our coffee table. Then had shards for teeth my entire childhood and grew up not being able to talk properly. Grew new ones tho

Ha as a toddler I used to be inconsolable with fury that my socks could never be rid of the creases around the ankle. To this day, I tense with resentment when someone suggests I work on my acceptance issues.

When I was a baby, before I learned to walk, we had this coffee table that always seemed to be in the way of where I was trying to crawl to, so I would just bump my head up against it and push as hard as I could trying to move it out of my way.

I think mine is when I started buttering the living room couch. Like not by smearing it, I kept taking tiny fingerfulls and carefully dabbing it on the back of the couch. Tiny little finger-dabs of butter covering the whole back of the couch, greasy cheerful baby luc

And the thing is I KEPT doing it, like every time someones back was turned. They tried keeping it on top of the fridge, but I *still* grabbed it, which scared them bad enough they just kept it on the counter again.

they literally could not keep me from doing this wierd thing.

either the one thanksgiving where I spent the entire time under the table eating pretzels or the fact that any time i got a speck of anything on my clothes I demanded to change outfits to the point where it was suspected I just like changing outfits

I too was a frequent outfit changer (I still am, tbh). My dad would get so annoyed that he made the laundry my chore as soon as I was capable of folding clothes appropriately.

As an adult, the first thing I do is change out of my work clothes when I get home. Usually into yoga pants/t shirt. Then if we decide to go out to dinner, I pop on a pair of jeans and (usually) a different shirt. Then when I get home I put on pjs. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I was told to never pull a plug out of the wall while a lamp was on. I did it anyway b/c I liked the color of the arcing. Until I electrocuted myself and fainted for about 3 seconds.

When I was four years old I learned how to use lottery ticket dispensers from observation; one day while my grandma was paying for groceries, I bought one, since I had a dollar and didn't know they were illegal. She and the cashier panicked when I proudly showed it off to them.

I won a free book when I was in 1st grade, but chose a 3rd grade book of spooky stories

The first story was about a girl who wore a ribbon around her neck every day, untied it as she was dying, and her head fell off

It scared me so bad that I made my dad return it to the store

Ok I Googled this and no wonder pic.twitter.com/ZpsbRNWVua

I decided that without ever having taken a single gymnastics class I could, at age 4, do a back handspring off a diving board into a pool. I cut my chin / throat open on some metal railing nearby and ended up with stitches and a scar.

I didn't want to stop swimming even when I realized what had happened, so I held my hand over the wound. My mom saw my bloodied fingers under my chin and briefly was terrified that I had cut my tongue loose

Before school started, when all the kids were playing on the blacktop, I used to sit on my backpack and read. This concerned some of the other moms so much that they told my mom and we had a talk about "antisocial behavior"

at age ~7 i was at zellers with my mom and picked up a little cheap bath toy thing and a little piece glued on fell off - I put it down without telling anyone and proceeded to feel real intense guilt and shame about it for the next 20 years

(unrelated, I was raised catholic)

I've told this story before but. A boy who'd bullied me said he would tie my shoes for me (I couldn't) and I let him. He tied them in knots so I punched him in the face.