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John when you tell him he looks like Arthur pic.twitter.com/0NW3NDtAb1

This baby is sucking the life from me. Drinking my water, making me dry. Eating my food, making me hungry. Taking my health, making me sick. Why do we create these monsters they want us dead

For the LAST TIME, JOHN looks like a baby so A LOT OF BABIES LOOK LIKE HIM STOP SENDING ME JOHN BABIES

I know he has a beautiful voice and I know I am "soooooo lucky" and blah blah but john's vocal warmups make me want to stab my brain

Lol pic.twitter.com/0ehDoMRH5W

Have u ever seen a more epic feud pic.twitter.com/LDitpCeaq7

Bahahaha loser pic.twitter.com/bYNgxOFM8z

Best dm of my life @yashar pic.twitter.com/Kqn21nEXfX

After 9 years of hating Donald J Trump, telling him "lol no one likes you" was the straw pic.twitter.com/MhZ6bXT1Dp

Ice cream sandwiches made with cookies are garbage. The only ice cream sandwich should be the rectangular blocks with chocolate cakey bread with holes. This is not an opinion, it is a fact. https://t.co/ntn4wZMXCS

I present to you: my dumb question. pic.twitter.com/PVX02xOEZN

Touring life with John is basically him resting his voice and never speaking and me saying "are you mad at me" every 45 minutes

How is John taking off my jewelry "relationship goals" like your fuckin boyfriend won't take your necklace off jfc leave him

I love me pic.twitter.com/Su55DpkrJn

.@BackInTheFray pic.twitter.com/bWtbw5cJZs

I ate fun dip with my fingers last night and I'm stained and Grammys are tomorrow. I've tried everything please help pic.twitter.com/Atr66KJcYo

please stop reporting me for saying I want to die when John wears sandals pic.twitter.com/CsobDs4rAJ

i woke up and thought john went the gym but nope. china.

Hate this macbook relationship. "When do you want to update?" "Later" "later today or later tomorrow?" Oh my god just fucking LATER

I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I'm murdered because I don't want him to remarry #truelove #tips

Immature?? YOU BET pic.twitter.com/ZRWI0zU4fX

making mom talk like a baby in the background of my room service call because it's illegal for adults to order off the kids menu

Remember that one time I went into a store because I liked a dress on the mannequin but it turned out to be a mannequin store

honestly upset i have not been invited to the westminster dog show especially with the amount of people who call me a dog daily on twitter

The penises people tweet me are always the worst penises

settle down, you're okay at it

My favorite thing is when people give @therock advice about his workouts on instagram as if it's just not working for him

IS PEE STORED IN THE BALLS

when bae thinks she found drugs in the ocean and all of a sudden she knows how to swim pic.twitter.com/i0L3b4lrxd

If u see more than one girl in an insta pic, I think it's really important for u to say who is hotter. That's a really important thing to do

2 grammy noms for @johnlegend no one has congratulated me for being the inspiration behind "all of me" without me there is no all of me

I almost respect this rogue single bikini line hair so much for her resistance to the crowd that I don't want to shave her

Do I look like the sort of person who needs the permanent stock market app, iPhone?

I have anger issues and I've still never held my horn down for more than 2 seconds go to therapy psychos

xanax. my favorite palindrome.

Ladies. #keepthemwantingmore pic.twitter.com/MioZbhmo9K

I honestly respect reality show people for the sole fact they can do their interviews weeks later and speak as if it's presently happening

it keeps me nice and not-racist so sure, give it a go.